How to tell your spouse that you want a divorce

Are you thinking about divorce? If so, then there are probably a lot of thoughts buzzing through your head. You might be concerned about how marital assets will be divided or who will get custody of the kids, which are certainly very important decisions that can have long-lasting implications. However, before you even get to the point where those matters need to be addressed, you might have to face another challenging issue: telling your spouse that you want to divorce.

Breaking the news of divorce to your spouse

This can be a difficult task, but there are some things that you can keep in mind to make your discussion initiating divorce a little easier. Consider each of the following:

  • Don’t surprise your spouse: Breaking the news of divorce to a spouse who doesn’t see it coming can lead to more disputes and confusion as he or she tries to find understanding while grieving the loss of the marriage. This might prevent you from reaching your goal, which very well could be a speedy resolution that leads to the next chapter of your life.
  • Have a plan: If you want breaking the news to go smoothly, then you really shouldn’t wing the conversation. Instead, have a plan for how and when to break the news, keeping in mind that you’ll need ample time to discuss the matter.
  • Don’t give false hope: The last thing you want as you’re trying to dissolve your marriage is a spouse who is desperately working to save the marriage because you gave the impression that it was salvageable. This can slow down your divorce and make for even more difficult conversations that are even more heart-breaking.
  • Be calm and honest: Regardless of who is to blame for the divorce, if anyone, you should try to stay calm while being direct and honest. This approach leaves little room for disagreement and can help spur things along with clarity.

Focus on the path ahead

There’s a lot to deal with when going through a divorce, and breaking the news to your spouse is just the beginning. As stressful as that may seem, take comfort knowing that you have the option to have a family law attorney by your side every step of the way.

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