As a parent, everything you do should be in your children’s interest. This includes divorcing your spouse. Children necessarily experience some difficulties during their parents’ divorce. However, there are ways that you can make it easier. This means doing some things for your children and avoiding others.
The Village Family Resource Center describes what to do for your children during divorce. It also describes what not to do.
Harmful actions to avoid
The most important thing is to leave your children out of your divorce to the extent possible. This means not badmouthing your ex to your children, not fighting with your ex in front of them and not using them to send messages. You should be honest with your children about the divorce, but do not give them any more information than they need to know.
Your children still love their other parent and need to stay connected with him or her. Therefore, do not purge all traces of your ex’s existence from your home as this will cause your children unnecessary pain. Also, do not be too quick to introduce a new significant other into your children’s lives.
Helpful actions to take
Divorce will inevitably mean some major changes in your children’s lives. However, try to keep these to a minimum and allow both you and your children time to adjust. Keep the lines of communication open and allow your children to talk about the feelings they are experiencing. You do not have all the answers, and therefore it is okay for you to seek professional help in the form of counseling if either you or your children are having a hard time coping.