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Tips for happy spouses faced with divorce

Many Colorado spouses can see a divorce coming from years away and are fully prepared to move past an untenable marriage when the time finally arrives. For others, however, the end of their marriage is a surprise. In such cases, one spouse may feel perfectly content within their union, while the other is deeply unhappy. In these instances, the spouse who is blindsided is at a distinct disadvantage when it comes to the legal aspects of divorce.

Not only will the unhappy spouse have the ability to file first, he or she will also have plenty of time and opportunity to work through the legal side of things. This means that by the time the happy spouse is aware that the marriage is over, the other party may have already reached a number of decisions concerning property division, child custody and other matters. The blindsided spouse will have to act quickly to make up for this advantage.

Marriages in which one spouse is happy and the other is not are fairly common. In fact, research shows that as many as 60 percent of divorce filings are from couples in which at least one partner categorized their marriage as "low conflict." This shows that virtually no one is immune from divorce and that simply feeling secure in one's relationship is no guarantee that the union will stand the test of time.

Colorado spouses who learn that their marriage is headed for divorce must make every effort to set aside their emotional reaction to the matter and focus on their practical needs. Addressing the legal side of divorce is crucial to a favorable outcome. There will be plenty of time in which to turn one's attention to the emotional fallout from a broken marriage. During the course of a Colorado divorce, however, the primary focus should be on securing a settlement that meets one's current and future needs.

Source:, "Why do happy marriages end in divorce?", Wendy Jessen, Nov. 14, 2015

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