The process of divorcing from one’s spouse can be complex, frustrating and surprisingly delicate. We have previously written about the fact that it is possible to avoid costly and time-consuming divorce litigation if you and your spouse are both willing and able to work through any differences you have between you with the aid of your attorneys and perhaps with the help of a mediator.

However, a relatively amicable divorce can only remain amicable if tensions do not flare out of control. As a result, it is important to prepare yourself to use healthy communication techniques designed to keep tensions low and communication productivity high.

For example, it is generally a poor idea to belittle your spouse’s feelings during negotiations or to mock them. Even telling your spouse that he or she is “overreacting” may spark tensions that could ultimately dominate the rest of your property division and child custody dispute discussions.

Similarly, it is best to avoid sweeping generalizations like “you never” and “you always.” Especially if your spouse is sensitive to the ways in which you are characterizing him or her, these generalizations could leave a bad taste in your spouse’s mouth and could inspire him or her to lash out in ways that stall divorce negotiations.

In addition, expressions of distrust like “I don’t believe you,” failure to listen to what your spouse is saying, and uttering “I told you so” are generally unproductive approaches to divorce negotiations. If you want to stay out of court, you will need to keep the tone of your interactions with your spouse civil whenever possible.

Source: The Huffington Post, “The 10 Most Dangerous Phrases In A Relationship,” Brittany Wong, May 14, 2015