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Divorce Law Blog

Behavior patterns that might predict divorce

A great deal of research within the social sciences is directed at learning more about interpersonal relationships, and especially matters related to marriage and divorce. One researcher has studied the behavior patterns that couples engage in that most often lead to divorce. Both patterns relate to how a couple deals with conflict, but the two approaches sit at opposite ends of the emotional spectrum. For Colorado spouses who recognize one of these patterns within their own marriage, it may be time to consider taking action to strengthen the marital bond.

The first pattern of behavior involves becoming mired in a cycle of negativity. This occurs when an issue leads to a high level of contention between spouses, but the matter is never properly resolved. The spouses begin to relate to one another in a negative manner, and their relationship begins to spiral downward. For many, it is virtually impossible to climb out of the negative cycle and repair the damage that has been done to the marriage.

New laws protect child custody rights of military parents

The best interests of children are always the primary consideration of courts in child custody disputes. However, determining what is best for children of members of the armed forces in Colorado and other states may be especially challenging. New legislation was passed by the U.S. Senate in December of 2014 to protect the rights of military parents in child custody cases.

The new acts followed several cases of parents losing child custody, including a 2014 order for the arrest of a deployed officer who failed to attend a custody hearing in court because he was serving the country aboard a U.S. Navy submarine at the time. The petty officer was held in contempt of court in another state. Public pressure led to the lifting of the arrest order, and the service man's custody rights of his 6-year-old daughter were temporarily suspended for the duration of his deployment.

Divorce leaving you strapped for cash? Think outside the box

If your divorce has left you in an unstable financial position, you are not alone. Not only does the divorce process tend to inspire legal fees, it also tends to inspire costs tied to the transition between married life and single life. In addition to moving expenses, divorce tends to result in the need to purchase a host of items ranging from furniture to kitchenware. For example, if your spouse takes all your communal dishes, those dishes must be replaced. Additionally, divorce can result in a host of service fees as you transfer your communal accounts to single accounts.

As a result of these many costs, you may be struggling financially at the moment. Thankfully, there are many things you can do to get your finances back on the right track. For example, you can avoid impulse spending. When you go to the store with a list and you stick to purchasing the items on that list, you can better monitor your spending. Even impulse snack items and caffeinated beverages can add up surprisingly quickly.

Why throwing a divorce party may be a good idea - Part II

In our last post, we began a discussion about the benefits of throwing yourself a divorce party. Certainly, you can avoid throwing yourself a “party” and choose to honor this major life transition in a quieter, more personal way. You can also choose to move through this life transition without any sort of symbolic event. However, there are some benefits to throwing yourself a divorce-related gathering.

First, this kind of gathering may give your family, friends, colleagues and other loved ones the chance to show you support in a concrete way. Many individuals are unsure of how to show their love and support to someone navigating a divorce. Throwing some sort of gathering or celebration may allow them an easy way to do so.

Why throwing a divorce party may be a good idea - Part I

Our readers may or may not be familiar with the concept of divorce parties. Divorce parties are a relatively new phenomenon. Essentially, these gathering serve as either a celebration of one’s newly single life or as an observance that an individual is transitioning from one phase of life to the next.

In American culture, it is not uncommon for loved ones to gather and to ultimately show their support for a loved one by celebrating a specific life event or transition. For example, parties are often thrown for individuals who are engaged, who are expecting children, who are retiring, who are graduating and who are otherwise transitioning into new phases of life. In this sense, divorce parties are not really different from other life event celebrations.

If your divorce has left you feeling 'not okay'

“How are you doing?” Sometimes, this question is a welcome one. When old friends embrace each other on the street after a long absence and are joyous in their reunion, this question is a happy, natural byproduct of the situation. However, this question can also be truly unwelcome. If you are the parent of a truly sick child, if you have lost a loved one or if you are divorcing, this question can feel loaded and frustrating.

On the one hand, the person asking you this question may genuinely want to know the answer. He or she may be prepared for you to be vulnerable and to be honest. If you are sitting with your dearest friend and he or she asks you this question, it may not feel loaded and frustrating. It may be an invitation to vocalize your troubles. However, if anyone but your closest loved ones asks it, you may be tempted to either lie and say you’re “okay” or scream at the top of your lungs that you are “not okay.”

'Divorce' for unmarried cohabitating couples

There are many reasons why individual couples opt to cohabitate but not to marry. One of the reasons why some couples choose to avoid making their unions legally “official” is that they believe that in the event of a breakup, they will be spared the pain and expense associated with the divorce process. Certainly, if a couple has only been cohabitating for a few weeks or months, this may be true.

However, if a couple truly begins to blend their lives in significant ways, they may be compelled to face many of the same legal hurdles that married couples do when they opt to divorce. If an unmarried couple’s finances, property and even children are shared, the courts may be called upon to help that couple fairly divide the elements of life that the unmarried couple has blended over months and years.

Avoid these phrases if you want an amicable divorce

The process of divorcing from one's spouse can be complex, frustrating and surprisingly delicate. We have previously written about the fact that it is possible to avoid costly and time-consuming divorce litigation if you and your spouse are both willing and able to work through any differences you have between you with the aid of your attorneys and perhaps with the help of a mediator.

However, a relatively amicable divorce can only remain amicable if tensions do not flare out of control. As a result, it is important to prepare yourself to use healthy communication techniques designed to keep tensions low and communication productivity high.

Loved ones: Divorce 'interference' is rarely productive

If a loved one has recently revealed to you that he or she is seeking a divorce, please think carefully before you interfere with this decision. You almost certainly want your loved one to be spared hurt and pain. However, it is rare that a married couple approaches the subject of divorce lightly. By the time that someone announces an intention to divorce to his or her loved ones, the subject has likely already become a significant presence in that person’s life.

Certainly, as a loved one you may wish to offer your support and your advice. But it is generally difficult to offer unsolicited advice without appearing to interfere. As a result, it is important to think carefully before offering unsolicited advice, as it may offend and alienate the individual you are seeking to help.

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