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Denver Divorce Law Blog

Why divorce is not necessarily 'throwing away' a marriage

When learning of your divorce, some loved ones may argue that you are throwing away your marriage. Most loved ones would use this phrase in a well-meaning way to express concern that you may regret your decision to separate. However, it is important to understand that divorce means ending a marriage and does not necessarily indicate that either you or your spouse is throwing your union away.

Every significant relationship that you participate in over the course of your lifetime provides you with opportunities. Your marriage has almost certainly taught you more about yourself, about your spouse, about your values and about your limits. Your marriage will continue to provide you with valuable life experience even as you leave your union behind.

Parents: Be cautious while dating before your divorce is final

Depending on the circumstances surrounding your divorce, you may be eager to begin dating or you may have little interest in dating at this time. If you do have interest in dating and your divorce has yet to be legally finalized, it is important that you exercise caution in regards to certain dating behaviors.

If you choose to date before your divorce is finalized, you may benefit from avoiding dating sites. Because your spouse’s attorney and the court can access these sites, any posts you make could be twisted and used against you. Similarly, you may benefit from discussing your dating life and posting any pictures of yourself on dates to social media sites.

Avoiding common financial mistakes during divorce

If you are currently navigating a divorce, you are likely concerned about how your divorce will affect you financially. This is a completely understandable concern. No matter what your income level is or what your level of financial security is, moving from a household in which you are sharing expenses to one in which your expenses are separate necessarily impacts your finances.

Your divorce attorney will almost certainly be able to guide you through the particulars of your financial situation in regards to your potential divorce settlement. However, it is important to be a strong advocate for your financial needs and to be educated on the state of your finances no matter how savvy your attorney is. One of the biggest financial mistakes you can make during divorce is to remain ignorant about any aspect of your financial reality.

Can science help you heal from the pain of divorce?

Sometimes the pain of divorce can be so acute that it can feel like nothing has the ability to heal it. At moments like this, it can either be comforting or infuriating to hear that time is almost certain to provide healing properties. Thankfully, recent research indicates that forces other than time also have the ability to make the pain of divorce less acute.

According to a study published in the professional journal entitled Social Psychological and Personality Science, reflecting on the end of a relationship can actually have a healing effect. It is important to note that “wallowing” for an extended period of time can be detrimental and is not the kind of reflection referenced in the study.

Starting single parenthood off on the right foot

If you and your child’s other parent are no longer planning to raise your child together, it is generally important to speak with an attorney so that you can begin your life as a single parent on firm ground. If you and your child’s other parent are married and are currently divorcing, you likely already have retained the services of an attorney or plan to do so soon. But even if you and your child’s other parent are not married, it is generally important to speak with an attorney as the legal rights and responsibilities afforded to single parents can be complex and confusing. In order to better protect your own interests and your child’s interests, it is important to seek legal guidance.

If you and your child’s other parent will be co-parenting, you will need to figure out how you plan to divide parental responsibilities. If you fundamentally disagree about the division of these responsibilities, you may need to litigate or mediate a child custody arrangement. If you do not disagree on too many points of interests, you and your attorneys may be able to negotiate a parenting plan that works for you and your child.

Seeking to mediate your divorce? Consider these ideas

Just as there is no one correct way to achieve a healthy marriage, there is no one correct way to achieve a healthy divorce. Some couples do not fundamentally disagree on matters of property division or child custody and are able to pursue a straightforward, uncontested divorce. Other couples do fundamentally disagree on important matters and ultimately choose litigation in order to settle their differences.

Many couples find themselves in a position in between these two relative extremes. These couples neither fundamentally disagree on important matters nor do they agree on basically every issue affected by their divorce. These couples often benefit from pursuing mediation. In a mediation setting, each individual and his or her attorney meet to discuss divorce-related issues with the aid of an impartial third-party mediator.

Kudos from the Court regarding Child Custody

The Law Center P.C. recently received the following compliment from the Court following a heavily disputed parental responsibilities case.  The Court wrote, "The Court is highly impressed by the successful cooperation between parties and counsel in minimizing the parties' attorney's fees and costs and solving problems with professionalism and a thoughtful child-centered compromise.  CONGRATULATIONS." Family Law

Are you mentally prepared for your divorce?

The circumstances surrounding your decision to divorce were almost certainly unpleasant. Perhaps you and your spouse had been growing apart for years. Or perhaps a single, awful event inspired your need to file for divorce. No matter how you came to your decision to divorce, you likely are not prepared for all of the realities that divorce entails. You may be more or less prepared than others filing for divorce, but chances are that you still have some work to do.

When mentally preparing for the remainder of your divorce process and for your life post-divorce, it is generally a good idea to refocus your values and priorities. If you can hold onto whatever is most important about yourself, your home life and your approach to the future, chances are that you will be able to weather divorce-related storms more successfully than if you feel that your most sacred priorities have been lost or misplaced.

Navigating the most popular month for divorces

For better and for worse, more Americans choose to file for divorce during January than during any other month of the year. There are many reasons for this remarkable trend. Many couples do not want to drain the color out of the holiday season with news of their divorce. In addition, many individuals view the dawning of a new year as inspiration to pursue healthy choices. Oftentimes, choosing to divorce one’s spouse is indeed a very healthy choice.

However, divorcing during January does not become simple simply because divorcing during January is popular. Many couples who choose to divorce during January face the same kinds of physical, emotional, financial and practical hurdles that other couples do when they file for divorce later in the calendar year. Thankfully, there are many things that you can do to successfully navigate this popular month for divorce while simultaneously preparing yourself for the process ahead.

Martial property and equitable division in Colorado

If you are getting a divorce in Colorado, there are many things that you should know about the process, starting with how your property may be divided. Since Colorado is not a state with community property laws, you do not get to assume that the split is going to be perfectly equal, allowing both parties to take 50 percent.

Instead of that, the judge simply makes a ruling -- unless you and your spouse come to an agreement -- that he or she deems equitable and fair. The judge can decide what is fair by examining all aspects of the case, such as employment, assets and debts.

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